


Swim In Ugly Waters

by Cristinuke



Series: Symphony of Rusted Power [8]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anger, Dom!Tony, Electricity, M/M, Not Safe Sane and Consensual, Punishment, Safeword Creation, Sub!Loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 01:17:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1409653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cristinuke/pseuds/Cristinuke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Tony fuck up bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swim In Ugly Waters

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a headsup, this is a huge fuckup, mostly on Tony's part. I am not advocating this type of relationship, and if you've read any of the previous parts, you understand how utterly screwed up they are in their relationship. I've put in the tags I think are relevant, but if I missed something, let me know. 
> 
> Also, I've realized that the next couple installments aren't so much PWP, because they kind of build on each other. Sorry if that bothers some, but that's how my brain decided it should be.

Tony needed a drink.

He was exhausted and on edge as he rode in the elevator, coming back from medical. Bruce had assured Tony that Natasha just had a concussion, and that the both of them would be fine after some much-needed rest and downtime. Tony only left when Bruce gently told him that they needed to sleep.

Tony would have stayed and watched over them, but he really wanted that drink.

The elevator opened, and Tony stepped out into his dark penthouse. He strode over to where his bar was, and selected a glass and a bottle of whisky. It wasn't until he was opening the bottle that he felt another presence behind him, so he set the bottle down and slowly turned around.

Loki was standing a few feet behind him, looking smaller than Tony had ever seen him, with his head bowed down, and shoulders hunched into himself; his shirt was ratted and torn, with clear burn marks littering his body along with dirt and soot. He was also favoring his right wrist, holding it gingerly against his body.

Loki was the picture of remorse, and the image stirred simmering rage in the pit of Tony's stomach.

"Tony, I'm so sorry,- I didn't mean for that to,- it wasn't supposed to happened like that,- it just,-," Loki cut himself off, breathing in deeply to try and rephrase his words.

"Shut the fuck up." Tony snarled. If the image of a sorry Loki was enough to reawaken Tony's anger, then his apologies only served to blow it into just-barely contained rage.

Loki actually recoiled and snapped his mouth shut, even though it was obvious he wanted to keep apologizing.

Tony briefly remembered watching helplessly as the Hulk cradled a limp and unresponsive Natasha in his arms:

Natasha and Bruce had been cooking dinner in the kitchen when Loki had come in with a bundle of what had looked like sticks. The pair cooking went on with their tasks, ignoring Loki who had set up shop on the island counter. When Loki accidentally let one of the sticks get too close to a burning stove, however, it quickly became clear that the sticks were actually fireworks.

And they all lit up at once.

That was where the video feed had cut out, but standing in the rubble of the destroyed kitchen left nothing to the imagination of how much worse everything could have turned out. Apparently the force of one of the explosions had thrown Natasha into the cabinets, and Bruce had Hulked out immediately, grabbing Loki as he moved towards Natasha, and protecting them both from the onslaught of bright lights and explosions. When the last of them had fizzled out, Tony and the rest of the Avengers had arrived at the scene to find a cowering Loki and a bruised and battered Hulk holding an unconscious Natasha.

As soon as it was clear the Loki wasn't in dire need of medical attention, all interest had been drawn to Natasha as they rushed her into medical.

Now, however, all of Tony's attention was on Loki. He just stared at the pathetic sight of Loki trying to make himself look as unthreatening as possible, clashing with the fact the he was so tall. Tony noticed that he was trembling slightly as well, his whole frame shaking.

"Tony…," Loki tried again, but broke off immediately when Tony was suddenly in his face.

"I said, ' _shut the fuck up_.'" Tony growled viciously. Up close, Loki looked even worse; the misery outlining his whole body only added to the injuries he was showing. Tony simply stared at Loki for a few moments, and Loki quickly stopped being able to meet his eyes, looking down at his tattered shirt in shame. Loki could feel how furious Tony was, as if his anger was rolling off of him in waves.

Loki couldn't handle the cold silence anymore, and very softly, whispered, "You could punish me…"

He expected to be hit, slapped or punched. He didn't expect Tony to go stock still and his expression go completely blank. Loki flinched and thought that this was even worse, because he had never seen Tony like this. It scared him.

"Punish you?"Tony whispered. "You want me to punish you?" He repeated it, and Loki's blood went cold.

Without warning, Tony snapped up his hand and gripped Loki tight by his hair and making him yelp out in pain as Tony started walking towards the stairs, forcing Loki to bend around and follow.

"You want me to punish you, that's what will happen." Tony stated, his rage coloring his tone again as he walked briskly to the stairwell. Loki could barely keep up, and at one point he lost his footing and tripped. Tony didn't stop though, simply dragging him by his hair and ignoring his cries of pain until he reached the stairwell.

Loki's face blanched when he saw the stairs, and he started begging Tony. "I'm sorry, Tony I'm so sorry, please!"

Tony simply threw him to the top of the stairs and said in a low and dangerous voice, "If you don't move down those stairs, I will throw you down them and you'll still get what's coming."

Loki scrambled to get down the stairs, with Tony steadily marching behind him. Two floors down, Loki went too slow, and Tony kicked him down the rest of the landing. It was only the last few steps, but it still knocked the breath out of Loki, and he wasn't given a reprieve before Tony gripped his hair again and kept moving down the stairs. Loki gasped and tried to follow him as best he could without tripping and soon Tony shoved him through a door.

Loki immediately realized it was the play room, and he hesitated, only to be yanked forward by Tony who hadn't broken stride. When Tony got to the middle of the room, he threw Loki onto the floor. Loki was in a tangle of limbs but he dared not move an inch as Tony walked away to grab something.

He walked back and put the object on the table nearby where Loki couldn't see it from the floor. Then Tony looked at Loki, who shuddered in fear when Tony walked to him. Loki suddenly realized that the middle of the room was where the rungs in the floor were, and sure enough when Tony reached out and yanked a foot out, his ankle was locked into one of the metal rungs.

Loki was shaking when Tony moved to the other side and gripped his other leg, spreading it wide to reach its rung, and locking it tightly. Loki whimpered when his left hand was brutally yanked up and out so that Tony could fasten it to another rung.

When he saw Tony move towards his other hand, Loki frantically begged, "Please, no, no, Tony, please, _sir_!" He screamed in pain when Tony's fingers wrapped around his sprained wrist and pulled to latch it to the last rung, mercilessly.

Loki was openly sobbing by the time Tony slid the metal neck rung on him, forcing Loki's head to stretch, and making him unable to move an inch. He was facing down on the concrete, spread-eagle, and completely helpless against whatever Tony had in mind.

He was still desperately trying to apologize. "Sir! Please! Tony, I’m so so-sorry!" Loki gasped between sobs. Tony then tore off the remains of Loki's shirt, and crouched in front of Loki.

"I thought I told you to. _Shut. The. Fuck. Up_." Tony hissed as he shoved the burnt shirt into Loki's mouth, gagging him completely. Loki's eyes widened and he quickly started to try and calm himself down when he realized he wouldn't be able to breathe out of his mouth if his nose clogged up. Loki shook in his shackles, and tried to breath evenly as Tony disappeared from his view.

Loki's cry was muffled when Tony ripped Loki's broken jeans down his spread legs. The fabric didn't completely rip off, but it was lowered enough that Loki's genitals scraped along the concrete as Tony pulled them down as far as they could go. The fact that Loki's legs were spread so viciously didn't help, but it was enough to fully expose Loki.

Tony disappeared again, and when he appeared again, Loki froze in fear when Tony started slipping something very cold underneath his cock and balls. Loki immediately knew what the cold metal was, and he struggled in vain, trying to apologize profusely again, but it fell on deaf ears.

Straightening up and stepping back, Tony sneered, "You wanted a punishment. Enjoy." He spit out the last word at the same time that he turned the dial on the remote in his hands to the highest setting.

Loki immediately screamed through his gag and started convulsing horribly on the copper plate, desperately trying to claw his way out of his bonds, but unable to escape the vicious electric current that was focusing solely on his poor genitals.

Tony set the remote down on the table and walked out the door, leaving a sobbing and seizing Loki, alone and on the ground behind him.

Tony took the elevator, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose while he tried to slow down his breathing and heart rate. He walked out of the elevator and made his way back to the bar where he really wanted to have that drink now.  His glass was still there, and the bottle was still open. Tony grabbed the bottle and filled the glass to the top. He set the bottle down, capping it again, and picked up the glass.

He brought it up to his lips and then stilled. The scent of the liquor filled his nostrils but he couldn't bring himself to open his mouth to take the drink, even though he wanted to _so bad_.

With sinking comprehension, Tony realized how _badly_ he just fucked up.

Tony hurled the glass as hard as he could and it shattered spectacularly against the far wall, but Tony didn't see it as he ran down the stairs to the play room. He slammed the door open and slid to a stop in front of the table, grabbing the remote and shutting the whole thing off. He let the remote drop to the ground where it broke into pieces and kneeled beside Loki who was utterly hysterical and panicking, still convulsing violently in his shackles.

"I'm sorry, Loki, fuck, I'm so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry," Tony apologized over and over again as he made quick work of unlatching all of the rungs. Loki couldn't even curl into a ball, his muscles too cramped and rigid to bend properly, but Tony still gathered him in his arms, begging Loki's forgiveness.

Tony realized Loki still had the makeshift gag in place, and he hurried to take it off, realizing that Loki had barely been breathing because he was crying so much that his nose had clogged up. Taking it out of his mouth, Loki gasped and choked desperately, struggling for breath, shaking even worse and crying harder now that his mouth was free to suck in oxygen. Tony just wrapped him in his arms, taking his stiff limbs and trying to massage the tension out while attempting to sooth Loki and still apologizing.

"I'm so sorry Loki, Fuck, I fucked up, I fucked up so bad. Shh, it's okay, it's over, I promise, I won't hurt you anymore, I'm so sorry, fuck, I’m so _sorry_ ," Tony was in tears himself as he cradled a hysterical Loki who wasn't calming down. Loki had finally tipped over from frenzied wheezes  to hyperventilating and couldn't help the raspy gasps of air that he was desperately trying to suck down. He trembled so hard that he was shaking Tony, who just held onto him all the tighter, trying to help fix this in any way he could, and realizing just how powerless he was. So he just rocked them back and forth, and rubbed Loki's clenching muscles as he whispered brokenly his apologies and promises.

It took an incredibly long time before Loki calmed down enough to curl against Tony, and even longer before his breath stopped coming out frantically.  

Tony just kept murmuring his apologies and rocked them on the cold ground, still rubbing and massaging Loki wherever he could reach. When Loki was finally quiet in his arms, Tony made to move them, thinking he should get Loki into a warm bed as soon as possible; the moment he shifted, however, Loki panicked again, clutching at Tony and rasping out a desperate, "No!"

"Shhh, Loki, it's okay, it's okay. I'm not leaving you, fuck, I’m never leaving you again. I just want to get you upstairs. I'm sorry, I just want to help, fuck. Shhh, it's okay, it's okay." Tony cradled Loki close, and pressed soft kisses into his hair and on his forehead, mentally kicking himself again for being so stupid. Loki was in too vulnerable of a state right now, and he couldn't relax his clutching fists in Tony's shirt. His breathing had sped up worriedly again, but he was too burnt out, body too exhausted to maintain that level of adrenaline for long. He quieted down again, but he still refused to let go of Tony, -not that Tony would blame him in the slightest.

"I want to move us upstairs, Loki. I’m not leaving you, I just want you someplace warm." Tony murmured against Loki, rubbing an arm up and down soothingly. "Can I help you upstairs, please?"

Loki shivered, but he nodded slowly.

He still began to breathe faster and tightened his grip on Tony when he started helping Loki up. The rest of Loki's broken pants simply slid down and Tony very carefully made sure Loki could get out of them without tripping. Tony doesn't know how he managed to get the both of them stumbling into the elevator, with Tony holding Loki up more than Loki was. He was practically carrying Loki to the bed when they stepped out of the elevators. On the way there, though, Tony paused long enough to grab some ointments and a wrap from a drawer.

Tony was gentle and cautious as he helped Loki lie down on the soft sheets. Loki whimpered panicky when Tony didn't immediately follow him down, but he quieted when Tony arranged the both of them on the bed, with Loki lying on his back and Tony on his side and hovering over Loki, propped up on his elbow. Loki still wouldn't let go of Tony, and Tony simply worked around it as he opened the jars of ointment and scooped up a good glob of the stuff.

"This is going to help with the burns, Loki. I promise it'll help." Tony figured his promises were worth shit at the moment, but Loki stayed still as Tony started painting his chest with the sweet smelling substances. Tony winced inwardly as he looked at the inflamed and angry looking burns that covered his whole front; it certainly hadn't helped that he'd been shaking and scrapping himself against the concrete. Tony methodically rubbed the soothing balm all over the angry-looking burns, and was relieved to find Loki relaxing into the sheets as the ointments did their job and took the pain away. Loki watched Tony the whole time, eyes still teary but expression completely smooth. Tony didn't even want to know what Loki was thinking at that moment, but knew they were going to have to talk about this, and do it soon.  

Tony scooped up more ointment and started going lower, spreading it down to Loki's groin. Loki flinched when he touched his cock, and Tony almost pulled back, but he needed to sooth the inflamed skin. Loki's breaths were audible and hitching as Tony coated his cock and balls liberally with the medicine. He relaxed again when Tony moved to treat the rest of his groin and hips, anywhere where the copper had touched.

When he was done, he capped the jar and set it aside, not even bothering to turn and set it on the bedside table, because it would mean pulling away from Loki.

Loki wanted to curl into Tony then, but Tony gently pushed him back down onto the bed. Before Loki could start panicking again, Tony spoke softly, "You want the ointments to set for a few minutes or else it'll just rub off all over me. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." To prove his point, he gently pried one of Loki's hands free from his shirt so that he could interlock their fingers together. Loki breathed out shakily, but his grip remained strong in Tony's hand.  Tony immediately realized that he still needed to wrap Loki's wrist. Loki understood what Tony was doing when he briefly let go of his hand to wrap his wrist with the soft cloth; as soon as he finished, he immediately interlocked their fingers again, and Loki breathed out a sigh.

Instead of snuggling against Tony, Loki ducked his head against Tony's neck, a small compromise to being flushed against him. Tony kissed his head and rested his chin on Loki's hair.

They stayed like that for a few minutes while Tony gathered his thoughts. Not being able to push it off any longer, he began to speak.

"Loki, I have fucked up beyond belief, and you have every reason to hate me right now."

Loki froze, and then cautiously asked, "Why would I hate you?" His voice was small and quiet, and Tony's heart shattered as he realized he had fucked up even more than he'd thought.

"Loki…" Tony pulled back to look at Loki who was staring, wide-eyed at Tony. Tony had no clue how to explain everything. He decided he was just going to have to try.

"Loki, what I did was absolutely unacceptable. I was, I was, _angry_ , and _stupid_ , and I put you in danger and I, I hurt you with the wrong reasons and intentions. I fucked up the line we have between us. Real bad." Tony breathed out.

Loki looked confused now, whispering the word, "Line?"

"Fuck." Tony winced. "Of course there's a line. There has to be. God, we've pushed and pulled that line so many times, so of course you don't think it exists. But we need to fix that. Now." Loki was still looking lost.

"Loki, what I did was not right," Tony began, but he was cut off by Loki.

"I asked for the punishment." Loki whispered.

Tony sighed, and replied, "No, no you didn't. Not really. And regardless, it shouldn’t even have _been_ a punishment. You didn't do anything wrong."

At this, Loki looked at Tony like he'd said he's been a Frost Giant this whole time. "Of course I did. The kitchen,-"

"Was an accident. A horrible, unfortunate, stupid accident." Tony cut him off. Loki still looked utterly confused, so Tony went on, "I got-, I got _scared_ , Loki. Really scared. Seeing Natasha… unconscious like that…. it terrified me. And seeing you hurt…. It scared the living shit out of me. I got angry because, because, I am the worst at… controlling my emotions. And every little thought, every little thing, every little detail…every tiny little thing of how much worse everything could have been…fuck, it just kept running through my mind." Tony's voice dropped to a whisper, "I could have been planning a funeral today… and by fucking sheer luck, I'm not.

Tony breathed in raggedly. "I got angry because Bruce and Natasha were in danger," Loki nodded miserably at that, agreeing with him, "and I got angry because _you_ were in danger as well." Loki's eye snapped up to Tony's with a look of pure surprise on his face.

"Me?" Loki breathed.

"Loki, you're-, you're the most important person in my life. I _care_ about you. Of course I'm going to care if you're in danger." Tony confessed. Loki still looked unconvinced.

"Sir, I don't understa-"

"Stop, Loki. It's just 'Tony', right now. I don't-, I don't deserve a title right now." Loki frowned, but he let Tony keep talking.

"I was angry that I wasn't there to protect my friends and you. I was scared, and that led to unjustified anger. And then when you were there, just fucking, _apologizing_ , I just couldn't,- I didn't know how to talk to you." Tony could feel wetness at the corners of his eyes, but he ignored it, powering through. "I fucked up, Loki. I really, fucking fucked up. I brutally punished you for no fucking good reason, and I left you alone. God, I left you _alone_." Tony closed his eyes and breathed out shakily.

When he opened his eyes again, Loki was looking at him with an odd expression on his face.

"You care about me." Loki said, letting the words roll around in his mouth as if trying them out for the first time.

"Fuck yes. Though I have a shitty way of showing it." Tony huffed out a bitter laugh.

"You care about me." Loki repeated. Tony looked at him, and saw a small smile curl at the edges of his mouth. Suddenly, Loki's face was right in Tony's, and he breathed out, "Can I kiss you?"

Tony's head was reeling, and the only answer he could think of in that moment was, "Fuck, yes, of course." And that was all Loki needed to press his lips against Tony's. It was a gentle, chaste kiss, but Tony could feel the emotion behind it.

When Loki pulled back, Tony said, "This doesn't excuse, or whatever, for what I did to you, Loki."

Loki's eyebrows creased into a slight frown. He was silent for a few moments, and then said, "Okay."

"Okay?" Tony repeated, confused.

"Okay. You fucked up. But so did I, -no, wait," Tony opened his mouth to protest, but Loki shook his head, "I knew they were fireworks, and I was planning a trick. I was careless with them, and I put everyone in danger. Including…myself." Loki said the last words as if he didn't quite believe it, but he nodded his head as if he was sticking to it.

"Not quite the same level of fuck-up, though." Tony insisted, hoping he could get Loki to truly understand.

"Does this mean you won't hurt me again?" Loki asked suddenly, shifting the direction of the conversation. "Even if I ask for it?" Loki looked down to where their hands were still entwined on his chest.

Tony breathed in deeply to think for a moment. "If that's absolutely and truly what you want… then I'll do anything you want me to." Loki looked up at Tony with hope, "But," Tony kept going, "we need to, I don't know, figure out some way of doing _this_ , "Tony lifted their hands up slightly, "a little differently." Loki looked a little apprehensive at the unknown and daunting task before them, still confused as to why.

Tony saw how overwhelmed Loki was, and he said, "How about this: we'll start off small. Little by little, we find out what works for us, and we do this together." Loki smiled at that and nodded.

"Okay. I like that."

"First thing, then. We need a way of knowing when I…when I go too far with something. If I start doing something that you just can't handle, for whatever reason, and you're scared or hurt in a way that you don't want, you say, 'red' and I'll stop whatever is going on." Tony waited to see if Loki understood where he was going with this, and when Loki nodded hesitantly, he kept going. "If everything is going the way you want it, and you're okay with what I'm doing, you say, 'green' and I keep going." Loki nodded again. "If you're somewhere in the middle, and you're confused, or you don't know how you're feeling about something, you say, 'yellow' and we pause for a little bit to find out what's going on." Loki looked slightly confused, but he nodded again anyway. "If you say 'red', and I don't stop, I will, I don't know…." Tony paused for a moment, "I'll program Jarvis to physically stop me, or something. Does that sound okay to you?" Tony asked.

Loki looked taken aback, especially by that last thought. He thought it over, initially wanting to reject to the colors and say he could take whatever Tony gave him, but Tony was making an effort to make this better for Loki, and no one had ever done that for him before. So Loki decided he could try doing that.

"I think we can try that." Loki finally said. Tony smiled, his first true smile of the evening, and Loki couldn't help smiling back.

This was going to be hard. This was going to take a long time. But they would get through this, little by little. They would get through this, Tony thought as he curled around Loki, and they both drifted off to sleep, the whispers of apologies still on their lips.

It was a very long time before Tony used electricity in their sessions again.

**Author's Note:**

> I enjoy comments!


End file.
